Last night was the finale of the first season The Real Housewives of Toronto. We’ve come a long way since the light-hearted premiere 10 weeks ago. Jana, Grego and Joan may never giggle quite as innocently as they did on the patio of Portland Variety before Ann’s plastic surgery procedure party. Although most of the women remain friends, there is a slight mistrust in their eyes, and perhaps a realization that their gilded world is not as simple to navigate as they once believed. (See: a recent Instagram post from Ann that appears to accuse Kara of buying Instagram followers and likes).
So, here we are at a furniture rental warehouse with Joan and Ann, who are selecting over-the-top furniture for Ann’s vow-renewal party. I had no idea how much time rich women spend planning parties. I also didn’t know there were this many plush chaise lounges or life-size gold elephants in the Greater Toronto Area. While they’re browsing, Joan tells Ann about a fashion-show-slash-housewarming at her new condo, and that she is not inviting Kara after all of last week’s drama.
Across town, Jana and Roxy catch up over brunch in Riverdale. Roxy was absent when Jana, Grego and Ann confronted Kara last week because she was in Europe for a friend’s wedding. Jana breaks it down for her, stressing her disbelief that Kara is still angry that the women got drunk at her dinner party. Roxy tells Jana to ignore it. She has already dealt with the wrath of Kara. “She’s not important.”
This scene, like so many others throughout the season, ends when the two women utter the phrase, “Let’s stop talking about Kara.” There must be so many hours of footage of the women not talking about Kara on the cutting room floor. I’d like to personally thank Kara for swallowing the villain role—this season would have been nothing without her.
Next, Ann grabs coffee with Kara to explain why she didn’t stick up for her the other night. She says Kara’s hang-ups about skinny dipping and the Muskoka dinner party are hard to defend, and pleads with her to let it go. Instead, Kara throws another wrench in the gossip gears—that she never told Stephanie the Lash Girl anything about the dinner party. “I know Stephanie is good friends with Roxy,” she says. “Unless dolphins ate my brain, why would I gossip to Stephanie?”
Kara insinuates that either Roxy made it up, or that Stephanie the Lash Girl got the information from another source, possibly a producer. This seems plausible and explains why Kara is consistently shocked when she finds out someone is mad at her. Let’s be clear: these are her words being spread around. She did say all this crazy, angry stuff. But there may be greater forces at work making sure everyone else hears them, too.
The women, minus Kara, gather at Joan’s condo-warming party with dozens of other fancy people. Grego finally states the obvious, “I don’t know why they are calling this a condo. It is more of a palace.” Thank you.
Grego also catches up with stylist Sergio El-Azzi, whom she met at Kara’s dress shopping party. Grego and Sergio are fast friends, giggling and talking in French. Just as the fashion show is about to start, Sergio reveals to Grego that Kara asked him not to talk to the other women at the party. This is unnecessarily cruel, because Sergio is, like, 30 years younger than Kara and seems to be trying to meet people to get his foot in the door of the fashion industry. (He also has a blog post alleging a whole lot of Kara phoniness behind the Mikael D event). Grego is pissed, but also seems dejected by the idea of having to be mad at Kara all over again.
Last night was the finale of the first season The Real Housewives of Toronto. We’ve come a long way since the light-hearted premiere 10 weeks ago. Jana, Grego and Joan may never giggle quite as innocently as they did on the patio of Portland Variety before Ann’s plastic surgery procedure party. Although most of the women remain friends, there is a slight mistrust in their eyes, and perhaps a realization that their gilded world is not as simple to navigate as they once believed. (See: a recent Instagram post from Ann that appears to accuse Kara of buying Instagram followers and likes).
So, here we are at a furniture rental warehouse with Joan and Ann, who are selecting over-the-top furniture for Ann’s vow-renewal party. I had no idea how much time rich women spend planning parties. I also didn’t know there were this many plush chaise lounges or life-size gold elephants in the Greater Toronto Area. While they’re browsing, Joan tells Ann about a fashion-show-slash-housewarming at her new condo, and that she is not inviting Kara after all of last week’s drama.
Across town, Jana and Roxy catch up over brunch in Riverdale. Roxy was absent when Jana, Grego and Ann confronted Kara last week because she was in Europe for a friend’s wedding. Jana breaks it down for her, stressing her disbelief that Kara is still angry that the women got drunk at her dinner party. Roxy tells Jana to ignore it. She has already dealt with the wrath of Kara. “She’s not important.”
This scene, like so many others throughout the season, ends when the two women utter the phrase, “Let’s stop talking about Kara.” There must be so many hours of footage of the women not talking about Kara on the cutting room floor. I’d like to personally thank Kara for swallowing the villain role—this season would have been nothing without her.
Next, Ann grabs coffee with Kara to explain why she didn’t stick up for her the other night. She says Kara’s hang-ups about skinny dipping and the Muskoka dinner party are hard to defend, and pleads with her to let it go. Instead, Kara throws another wrench in the gossip gears—that she never told Stephanie the Lash Girl anything about the dinner party. “I know Stephanie is good friends with Roxy,” she says. “Unless dolphins ate my brain, why would I gossip to Stephanie?”
Kara insinuates that either Roxy made it up, or that Stephanie the Lash Girl got the information from another source, possibly a producer. This seems plausible and explains why Kara is consistently shocked when she finds out someone is mad at her. Let’s be clear: these are her words being spread around. She did say all this crazy, angry stuff. But there may be greater forces at work making sure everyone else hears them, too.
The women, minus Kara, gather at Joan’s condo-warming party with dozens of other fancy people. Grego finally states the obvious, “I don’t know why they are calling this a condo. It is more of a palace.” Thank you.
Grego also catches up with stylist Sergio El-Azzi, whom she met at Kara’s dress shopping party. Grego and Sergio are fast friends, giggling and talking in French. Just as the fashion show is about to start, Sergio reveals to Grego that Kara asked him not to talk to the other women at the party. This is unnecessarily cruel, because Sergio is, like, 30 years younger than Kara and seems to be trying to meet people to get his foot in the door of the fashion industry. (He also has a blog post alleging a whole lot of Kara phoniness behind the Mikael D event). Grego is pissed, but also seems dejected by the idea of having to be mad at Kara all over again.
Ann decides to call all the women together for one final lunch at Rosewater Supper Club so they can hash out their issues once and for all (and so no one is tussling at her wedding). Rosewater does not serve lunch, so the women are the only people in there. Very natural, guys.
Ann tries to get the women to air their grievances in a peaceful manner, but Roxy decides to go after Kara over everything she has done to her this season: yelled at her in the dog park, forgot her birthday, called her a bad corporate wife. “I always say a true classy woman doesn’t need to be so pretentious and judgmental,” Roxy says.
Kara suggests the possibility that she and Roxy just weren’t meant to be friends, and that Roxy used their falling out as a an opportunity to turn all of the other women against her. But Roxy is concerned that Kara has been talking about her and the Housewives to other people in the city. Things circle back, once again, to Stephanie the Lash Girl: “Is that just a coincidence that Stephanie manages to say all of the things that came out of your mouth?” Roxy asks.
“No Roxanne, I don’t think it’s a coincidence,” Kara replies.
Roxy considers this a denial, but a seasoned Housewives watcher knows that cast members are forbidden from discussing the producers or the cameras. If there was some producer influence on Stephanie the Lash Girl, Kara couldn’t say that out loud. (It’s also possible that recapping this television show has given me Stockholm Syndrome, and Kara is just as crazy as all these other women seem to think.)
Kara does manage a moment of redemption when she apologizes to Joan for yelling at her last week. “I used a shotgun to kill a fly, and that was not appropriate,” she says. Joan accepts the apology and says she wants to give Kara “the biggest hug.” Grego and Jana agree that it’s time to just move on.
This drives Roxy crazy. “I have to admit I lost a lot of respect for these women when I saw the way they immediately moved past what Kara said about them. Congratulations, women, you made a new friend in Kara Alloway,” she says in an off-camera interview. To me, they seem less like they want a new friend, and more like they are just exhausted by still having to talk about this. The scene ends with Roxy telling Kara she never wants her to say her name again—not to her face, not behind her back, not in an email, not in a text, and presumably, not to a lash artist.
Finally, it’s time for Ann’s wedding. The party is opulent in every way. Everyone is wearing massive ball gowns. There are dozens of Cirque du Soleil performers, orchids hanging from the ceiling and a creepy ringmaster. And that’s before Ann descends from the ceiling wearing a dress with 25-foot-long raven feather train. Impressive, I suppose, but also garish.
Vows are renewed. Enormous rings are exchanged. Teenage daughters are forced to be bridesmaids. And that’s about it.
Before the episode wraps, we get an update on what the Housewives have been up to since the show stopped filming, including the unfortunate news that Jana was in a debilitating car accident in the Dominican Republic and is still recovering. We also learn that, despite making up with most of the women and having a good time at the wedding, Kara hasn’t spoken to any of them since. Nor has she done much media or appeared at any promotional events for the series like the other Housewives. Something is amiss, but we may never know what it is. We do know there will be no reunion, so last night’s episode is last we will see of the Six from the 6ix—unless the series is renewed for a second season.
However, there is some good news: 2017 AMBI Gala tickets will be available soon.